“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”
-Mark Twain
The mini-break is over (in fairness, it ended a few days ago and I just couldn't be bothered to write) and with the Commonwealth Games, the Tour de France, World Matchplay darts and the transfer market in full swing, work has been pretty busy. I had a day off today, and for the next few weeks, my schedule will look roughly the same--work for three or four days, have a day off. No more weekends until I go to Belgium, but it won't get crazy heavy either.
I still hope I get to throw some kind of going away-party, but I reckon it'll be more of a drink as I need to take the train to Brussels around noon on the 17th, and I really don't plan on getting hammered the night before. I seriously don't want to miss that connection, and I'm a terrible drunk.
That going away-party/drink could turn out to be fairly useless, anyway. I had five days off last week, and somehow, I didn't manage to set a single date with friends. I've been getting all sorts of apologies in the last two days, and while I appreciate the gesture, it's really not necessary :) I came to this city six months ago, and from the very start, I explained how I understood you all have lives and social circles here, and how I didn't expect you to just throw all of that on its head to accomodate me. I'm just happy I got to see some of you more frequently, and it's kind of saddening to think that's about to change. I'll come back to London, for sure (I still work here), but it'll happen perhaps once every three months or so. We've already established how hard it can be to find time to meet up :) but again, please don't worry.
It's kind of scary though. One of the reasons it took me so long to write this particular entry is that the last three or four days weren't so great (today was awesome). I've been looking forward to moving back to Belgium for a long time now, but last week I got really, really scared. I miss my friends and having a normal social life, and I'm really glad that'll change on some level, as I'll most likely be moving into an appartment with one of my best friends in September or October.
But I've put so much distance between myself and the people I care about in the past six years, both literally and figuratively, and right now I can't help but feel like that distance won't go away with me moving to Belgium. It's so logical, and perhaps just the way life works. My best friend used to be Thomas Robberechts, and we haven't spoken in years. The same goes for Thijs Lombaerts, who I used to ride to school with every day. People come and go, and it's not really a cyclical thing. Once they're gone, they usually stay gone. It's why I chose this London adventure in the first place--I had great difficulty accepting that. I've changed a lot in these past six months (or so I keep telling myself), but I'm still really sucky at letting go, or moving on, or whatever you want to call it.
I don't know. I just fear I may be opening Pandora's Box all over again. Last year was a disaster, and it took me a very long time to come to terms with everything that happened. I've missed home so much, and I really can't deal with the loneliness any longer. I need to go home, and I'm scared I'll turn back into the guy who left. I hate that guy :) and I really don't want to go that path again.
Today was a good day, however, and maybe that's the difference. There were no good days six months ago :) I still lose hope at times, and there are days my mind wanders back to some very dark places. But there's always the next day, and those few rays of hope that come with it. It's a process, really, one step at a time.
So, how did I spend my time off? The weather has been pretty insane here in London, but I've been told it was much the same back at home. Heat in London is the worst, as the Tubes don't have airconditioning and there's so many people living in such close quarters. Some kids had the biggest watergun fight I've ever seen just outside the building last week, and I really wish I could have joined in (no gun, and I'm roughly twice as old as the oldest person I saw wielding a pistol).
I gave a tiny guided tour of London to an elderly German lady who was waiting for her daughter's school trip to end, and that was nice. I just had to see Tower Bridge when it was open, and that's sort of how it started. Failed to set a date for a West End show (Tim Minchin's Matilda, obviously), but it's still on the schedule. Today I went to the Docklands and Canary Wharf, and I checked out the Doctor Who museum and the adjecent shop. Just getting there was expensive, and seriously, that shop is way overpriced. So, naturally, I spent roughly a week's pay in that thing. I now have a very impractical Doctor Who wallet, and I already regret buying it.
I also checked out the Earls Court Tardis, and I thought it was even cooler. Technically it's just an ordinary police box, but still. Right in the centre of an afluent West-London neighbourhood, with thousands of people passing it every day. Honestly, it took the cake for me.
I'll try and put down a bit of practical information for my return the next time. I'll have two days off after I get back home before I start work, and as luck would have it, my parents will be leaving on their holiday the day after I return. So yeah, I'm leaving London because I miss everyone back at home, and I'll be spending my first two weeks back on my own. Because duh.
Lastly, I need to end this entry on a sad note. A couple of days ago it was brought to my attention that one of my favourite teachers had died, and I had no idea. His name was Willy Wuyts, and he taught me Dutch and Drama for two years at the Don Bosco Institute in Haacht (I also think he sat in during some of our Latin classes, but I'm not sure). He was already quite old when I was at that school, and he looked like a freaking rockstar, with his suits, leather coats, long grey hair and fancy sports car. He was everyone's favourite teacher and an incredible writer (he actually won several really big awards, something most of us never knew I guess), but what I'll remember most was his insane ability to come up with the most creative punishments imaginable.
My favourite anecdote will always be the time when he made David Pons give a 10 minute oral presentation on the mating behaviour of the male hippopotamus. David was forced to write a two-page paper on "Why he felt the need to utter the sounds a horny, deranged giraffe makes" during the first lesson of the day (Drama), and I don't remember what he did in the afternoon (during Dutch), but it was ultimately changed to an essay and oral presentation the next day. As a 13-year-old, you simply can't imagine how funny it was to hear an elderly teacher tell a classmate he would be forced to spend the entire evening researching hippopotami (hippopotamuses?) and how they court females.
Mr Wuyts unexpectedly died earlier this year, and while it would have been nearly impossible for me to attend his funeral, I would have moved heaven and earth to at least try. Thanks for everything, Mr Wuyts. You're one of the few people who had a much bigger impact on me than they will ever realise. I'll leave you with an excerpt of the elegy, written by one of his former colleagues (Dutch):
"Het zal er niet meer van komen, Willy. Maar mag ik jou dan toch nog één dingetje vragen?
Als ik op een avond alweer voor een leeg blad zit, worstelend om de juiste woorden of invalshoeken te vinden, wil je dan – alsjeblief – stilletjes op mijn schouder komen zitten en me die juiste tips in mijn oor fluisteren die anders nog zeker uit jouw gouden pen waren gevloeid."
-Herman Moons
Song of the Day: Edith Piaf - La Vie En Rose
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFzViYkZAz4
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